Thursday, February 13, 2020
PUBLIC SPEAKING: PARKER'S STORY
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
CHRISTMAS CONNECTIONS
I hope you love Christmas as much as me and my family do. And I hope you love my latest book about Christmas, too. It is available as of today on Amazon.
Monday, September 16, 2019
DYSFUNCTION AND DECEPTION
KEY VERSE:
“Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “But my brother
Esau is a hairy man while I have smooth skin. What if my father touches me? I
would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather
than a blessing.” Genesis 27:11-12
ESSAY:
I got a tremendous sense of frustration as
I read Genesis 27 this morning. These Old Testament characters are
REPEATEDLY deceptive. Specifically, in today's chapter it is Rebekah and her
son Jacob who deceive Isaac and sabotage Esau.
The relationship between Rebekah and Jacob strikes me as highly dysfunctional. There may always be a danger when a mother plays favorites. Although there is no indication in the Bible that Jacob struggled with this issue, I think mothers who smother and dominate their sons are opening them up to the possibility of same sex attraction.
Jacob seems very willing to take direction from his mother. In fact, he doesn't seem bothered at all by the fact that they plan to lie to his father. He only seems bothered by the possibility that they might get caught. "What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing," he says in verse 12.
Rebekah helps Jacob carry out the deception and Isaac blesses the younger son, not Esau his firstborn. Reading this chapter, I feel sorry for Esau. He seems like a decent enough fellow. Rugged. Hairy. Hardworking. The kind of man John Eldredge praises in his book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul. True, he is a bit impulsive earlier in Genesis when he sells his birthright to Jacob. But in this chapter of Genesis he doesn't do anything wrong. He just gets to serve as an example of how sometimes life is beyond our control. Circumstances or people can rob us.
Ultimately my frustration is not going to get resolved in this chapter. While I detest their deceit, as does God, He still chooses to use them and honor them. Because of Abraham they are his chosen people and his plan of righteousness and redemption will prevail through, and in spite of, them.
The relationship between Rebekah and Jacob strikes me as highly dysfunctional. There may always be a danger when a mother plays favorites. Although there is no indication in the Bible that Jacob struggled with this issue, I think mothers who smother and dominate their sons are opening them up to the possibility of same sex attraction.
Jacob seems very willing to take direction from his mother. In fact, he doesn't seem bothered at all by the fact that they plan to lie to his father. He only seems bothered by the possibility that they might get caught. "What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing," he says in verse 12.
Rebekah helps Jacob carry out the deception and Isaac blesses the younger son, not Esau his firstborn. Reading this chapter, I feel sorry for Esau. He seems like a decent enough fellow. Rugged. Hairy. Hardworking. The kind of man John Eldredge praises in his book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul. True, he is a bit impulsive earlier in Genesis when he sells his birthright to Jacob. But in this chapter of Genesis he doesn't do anything wrong. He just gets to serve as an example of how sometimes life is beyond our control. Circumstances or people can rob us.
Ultimately my frustration is not going to get resolved in this chapter. While I detest their deceit, as does God, He still chooses to use them and honor them. Because of Abraham they are his chosen people and his plan of righteousness and redemption will prevail through, and in spite of, them.
APPLICATION:
Like Jacob in this Old Testament story, have you ever gained something you
didn’t deserve via deception? While it is encouraging to know God can forgive
us and still bless us in spite of our sinfulness, we should not lose sight of
the fact that God hates deception. Psalm 5:6 reminds us, “You destroy those who tell lies. The
bloodthirsty and deceitful you, Lord, detest.” Search your heart and mind and
confess any known deception to God. He will forgive you. Ask him to help you
hate deception as much as he does.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
THE GAME SHOW GUY
KEY VERSE:
“All hard work brings a profit, but mere
talk leads only to poverty.” Proverbs
14:23
ESSAY:
"Rich Seiber, Come on down. You're the
next contestant on The Price Is Right."
Oh how I long to hear those words. Especially lately. Since I have been unemployed for the last two and a half months, I have reinvigorated my fondness for game shows. My six-year-old son Parker and I have been enjoying game show reruns on the Game Show Network, GSN. One of his favorite phrases to say around the house is, "I'd like to buy a vowel please, Pat."
In that way, he is definitely his father's son. I have vivid memories of me at a young age. My Grandma would place me in my crib for nap time. But I didn't nap. Instead I would invent and host game shows in my head. My favorite one was where you had to find words inside of another word. For example, if your word was "Grandma" you would get a point for "grand," and a point for "and," and a point for "ma," and so on.
My love for game shows didn't end there. When I was a senior in high school I was interviewed by our local metropolitan newspaper and asked what I wanted to be when I finished college. "He wants to become a television game show host" is a direct line from the article.
Well, that goal I haven't met...yet. But with all this free time on my hands I have returned lovingly to my longing for programs hosted by Regis Philbin and Alex Trebek. More than just the free time, though, I think when you are unemployed you tend to focus on the need for money. That is what game shows are all about. That quick fix and emotional high that money can provide.
Oh how I long to hear those words. Especially lately. Since I have been unemployed for the last two and a half months, I have reinvigorated my fondness for game shows. My six-year-old son Parker and I have been enjoying game show reruns on the Game Show Network, GSN. One of his favorite phrases to say around the house is, "I'd like to buy a vowel please, Pat."
In that way, he is definitely his father's son. I have vivid memories of me at a young age. My Grandma would place me in my crib for nap time. But I didn't nap. Instead I would invent and host game shows in my head. My favorite one was where you had to find words inside of another word. For example, if your word was "Grandma" you would get a point for "grand," and a point for "and," and a point for "ma," and so on.
My love for game shows didn't end there. When I was a senior in high school I was interviewed by our local metropolitan newspaper and asked what I wanted to be when I finished college. "He wants to become a television game show host" is a direct line from the article.
Well, that goal I haven't met...yet. But with all this free time on my hands I have returned lovingly to my longing for programs hosted by Regis Philbin and Alex Trebek. More than just the free time, though, I think when you are unemployed you tend to focus on the need for money. That is what game shows are all about. That quick fix and emotional high that money can provide.
Shortly
after I lost my job my family won $250 in a Little League raffle. At the
time I viewed it as an answer to prayer, a method that God was using to
provide for my family. Since then I have been wondering and hoping
that God will continue to use a form of winning as His way of provision --
hence the increased interest in game shows.
But "survey says" that's not likely to be the way it is done. The book of Proverbs is full of reminders to work hard and rely on your diligence to provide for you and your family.
Proverbs 14:23 says "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." One chapter earlier it says, "A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied" (Proverbs 13:4).
So I can use a lifeline and phone all the friends I want but my final answer of provision is going to have to come from a job not Jeopardy.
But "survey says" that's not likely to be the way it is done. The book of Proverbs is full of reminders to work hard and rely on your diligence to provide for you and your family.
Proverbs 14:23 says "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." One chapter earlier it says, "A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied" (Proverbs 13:4).
So I can use a lifeline and phone all the friends I want but my final answer of provision is going to have to come from a job not Jeopardy.
APPLICATION:
When
we expect game show or lottery winnings to provide for our needs and our
family’s needs, we are living in fantasy land. God expects us to work hard and
do our part to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. He can
certainly provide in other ways, and ultimately everything we have is from Him.
But that doesn’t give us the right or permission to be lazy. If you are
unemployed, in humility, seek and pray hard for that new job opportunity. Or if
you know of someone who is unemployed but honestly seeking to provide for
themselves and their family, be a tangible source of encouragement to them.
Send them a greeting card to cheer them up. Buy them a grocery store gift card.
Or recommend them to someone you know who is hiring. Help them help themselves.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
Saturday, September 14, 2019
GRIEF IS THE WORD, IS THE WORD THAT YOU HEARD
There is a time for everything, and
a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to
die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a
time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a
time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes
3:1-4
ESSAY:
I am still trying to get used to the idea
of writing every day. I am learning that I should stop and write as soon as I
am aware I am passionate about something. Or in the case of today, when I am feeling
something acutely. It has been a melancholy day, reminding me of that verse in
Ecclesiastes: “(There is a) time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn
and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4).
This morning it was all grief -- just an overwhelming sense of sadness over the loss of my job. I have been dreaming a lot about my former workplace. Sometimes it is a stressful dream, sometimes more pleasant. It just continues to be on my mind and subconscious mind. Maybe because there has been little closure.
The hardest parts for me have been the ending of relationships. When people get laid off, I think everyone chooses sides. Partly for reasons of self-preservation some employees side with the boss because they want their own jobs to be more secure, feel more secure. So, friendships end abruptly. And I miss that day to day contact with those coworkers. We were a part of one another's lives for eight years.
Plus, I think there is the very human response of wanting to know that you are missed. That your productivity and contributions are missed. But you don't see those people anymore, so it proves difficult to access that information. And then there is the fear of what if you are not missed?
Thankfully I don't relive the ending over and over. The grief isn't tied up in remorse or wishing I had done things differently. I'm not second guessing myself. But I probably am still second guessing the decisions of the boss and others.
I have always heard that for adults losing a job is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Right up there with having your spouse die and being forced to speak in public. (I love public speaking so that one doesn't stress me out). Thus, I get that the grief is normal, even healthy. But for how long? And at what intensity? I would imagine you would move on from grief over a job much more quickly than grief over the death of a loved one. Still I am stuck in the grief and ready for the other parts of that Ecclesiastic verse -- the laughing and the dancing.
This morning it was all grief -- just an overwhelming sense of sadness over the loss of my job. I have been dreaming a lot about my former workplace. Sometimes it is a stressful dream, sometimes more pleasant. It just continues to be on my mind and subconscious mind. Maybe because there has been little closure.
The hardest parts for me have been the ending of relationships. When people get laid off, I think everyone chooses sides. Partly for reasons of self-preservation some employees side with the boss because they want their own jobs to be more secure, feel more secure. So, friendships end abruptly. And I miss that day to day contact with those coworkers. We were a part of one another's lives for eight years.
Plus, I think there is the very human response of wanting to know that you are missed. That your productivity and contributions are missed. But you don't see those people anymore, so it proves difficult to access that information. And then there is the fear of what if you are not missed?
Thankfully I don't relive the ending over and over. The grief isn't tied up in remorse or wishing I had done things differently. I'm not second guessing myself. But I probably am still second guessing the decisions of the boss and others.
I have always heard that for adults losing a job is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Right up there with having your spouse die and being forced to speak in public. (I love public speaking so that one doesn't stress me out). Thus, I get that the grief is normal, even healthy. But for how long? And at what intensity? I would imagine you would move on from grief over a job much more quickly than grief over the death of a loved one. Still I am stuck in the grief and ready for the other parts of that Ecclesiastic verse -- the laughing and the dancing.
ABOUT AUTISM:
My wife and I grieved over the loss of our
son’s normalcy. What I mean by that is when we found out our son was going to
be born with health challenges or each time we discovered a new medical
diagnosis for him, there were moments of grief. I remember bawling my eyes out
in a public place when my wife shared news of Parker’s brain trauma with me.
And there was shedding of tears in the doctor’s parking lot when we first
learned Parker had cerebral palsy. I have cried after long, tiring days of
dealing with our son’s autism-related behavioral tantrums. Grieving for what
might have been, a healthier child, is perfectly natural and normal. If you are
in a similar situation, allow yourself to grieve without judgment.
APPLICATION:
How
do we help those who are grieving move on to laughing and dancing? Whether they
are grieving the loss of a loved one, the loss of an income or the loss of an
opportunity, we can come alongside them and usher them into new times, new
memories. Reach out to someone you know is grieving today. Write them an
encouraging note. Call them and just say hi. Take them to lunch and lend a
listening ear. Laughing and dancing don’t happen outside of relationships so
relate to someone’s sorrow today and bring them relief from the grief.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
Thursday, September 12, 2019
ENCOUNTERS WITH THE HOMELESS
KEY VERSE:
Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what
they have done. Proverbs 19:17
ESSAY:
I've had four encounters with homeless people in the last two weeks. Two of
those encounters happened in my front yard. Four interactions are more than I
have had in an entire year in the past. Let me breakdown the four times.
1) I brought my son home from behavioral therapy for his autism to find a homeless couple and their belongings on my front lawn. I argued with the homeless women about her smoking in my front yard and asked the couple to depart.
2) A homeless and intoxicated man approached me at a public park. I had gone there mid- afternoon to read my Bible and do my devotions in the shade trees. He was very polite. I declined to give him money, but he stayed and talked with me for 30 minutes. We talked about God and our wives and going through pain. He seemed like a decent enough man. But he obviously had an alcohol problem. We probably would have talked longer but I had to leave to pick my son up from therapy.
3) After church today another homeless couple approached me in my driveway. The woman, who acknowledged her missing teeth when she asked me for money, wanted me to pay her husband or boyfriend to mow the lawn. I had mowed the lawn that morning before church. I politely excused myself from her request and took my son inside the house.
4) About 15 minutes after encounter number three my son and I left for lunch at McDonald's. While leaving the McDonald's parking lot we were approached by a homeless woman. She was hot and sunburned and carrying a lot of belongings. She asked for a ride. I told her that since she was a stranger and I had my six-year-old special needs son with me I did not feel safe giving her a ride. She said she understood and then asked me for money. I told her that I would not give her money.
For a long time my wife and I have had a policy of not giving money to homeless individuals. When you do you just have no control over how or what they will spend it on. The length of the encounter is usually so short that you have no sense of the character or integrity of the person asking or begging. I used to carry extra food in my car so that when I got approached by homeless people in downtown Sacramento, I could decline their request for money but offer them food instead. Only one time did the person take the food (a granola bar) I offered.
As the economy continues to collapse these interactions with homelessness are only going to increase. Heck, I am currently unemployed. There's no guarantee me and my family won't be joining their ranks soon. Stranger things have happened. In the meantime, I must be prepared for these more frequent and more aggressive and more invasive (two in my driveway!) encounters. I don't know what the safe and gracious thing to do is. But I do know that God is giving me many opportunities to work on crafting a compassionate response.
1) I brought my son home from behavioral therapy for his autism to find a homeless couple and their belongings on my front lawn. I argued with the homeless women about her smoking in my front yard and asked the couple to depart.
2) A homeless and intoxicated man approached me at a public park. I had gone there mid- afternoon to read my Bible and do my devotions in the shade trees. He was very polite. I declined to give him money, but he stayed and talked with me for 30 minutes. We talked about God and our wives and going through pain. He seemed like a decent enough man. But he obviously had an alcohol problem. We probably would have talked longer but I had to leave to pick my son up from therapy.
3) After church today another homeless couple approached me in my driveway. The woman, who acknowledged her missing teeth when she asked me for money, wanted me to pay her husband or boyfriend to mow the lawn. I had mowed the lawn that morning before church. I politely excused myself from her request and took my son inside the house.
4) About 15 minutes after encounter number three my son and I left for lunch at McDonald's. While leaving the McDonald's parking lot we were approached by a homeless woman. She was hot and sunburned and carrying a lot of belongings. She asked for a ride. I told her that since she was a stranger and I had my six-year-old special needs son with me I did not feel safe giving her a ride. She said she understood and then asked me for money. I told her that I would not give her money.
For a long time my wife and I have had a policy of not giving money to homeless individuals. When you do you just have no control over how or what they will spend it on. The length of the encounter is usually so short that you have no sense of the character or integrity of the person asking or begging. I used to carry extra food in my car so that when I got approached by homeless people in downtown Sacramento, I could decline their request for money but offer them food instead. Only one time did the person take the food (a granola bar) I offered.
As the economy continues to collapse these interactions with homelessness are only going to increase. Heck, I am currently unemployed. There's no guarantee me and my family won't be joining their ranks soon. Stranger things have happened. In the meantime, I must be prepared for these more frequent and more aggressive and more invasive (two in my driveway!) encounters. I don't know what the safe and gracious thing to do is. But I do know that God is giving me many opportunities to work on crafting a compassionate response.
APPLICATION:
The book of Proverbs in the Bible makes it very clear that God loves the poor. He reminds us over and over to provide for them, love on them, defend them. In the four encounters above, how well did I do? Not that great, I would surmise. I think example number two was my best response. I provided my time and interest to a man in need. Because of his apparent alcoholism, I did not choose to provide him with any money. In the other three examples, I am not sure if I honored God or not. Certainly, there are safety factors involved when you reach out to the poor and homeless. Nevertheless, we are called to do so. My wife frequently donates crocheted items to elderly and ill people in need. In doing so, she is honoring God by taking care of the downtrodden. For several months recently, our immediate family befriended a homeless young man who was living in his car in our neighborhood. We provided him with food, gas, money and even access to our home. What are some ways you can reach out to the poor and homeless today? Find a Christian charity that cares for the poor, such as Compassion International or the Salvation Army, and donate to them today. Do it today or you risk forgetting or changing your mind. It doesn’t have to be a large donation, just whatever you can give. God promises to reward you for what you have done.
This essay is from my book More Autism and Awesometism: Devotionals From and About a Special Needs Family.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
APPEARANCE BEFORE ABRAHAM
KEY VERSE:
He said, ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.’
‘Very well,’ they answered, ‘do as you say.’
So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. ‘Quick,’ he said, ‘get three seahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.’
Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice,
tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He
then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set
these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.” Genesis
18:1-8
ESSAY:
I've been lamenting over a tough decision the last few days. After much
thought and prayer, I still don't really feel like I know what the right thing
to do is. I was reminded by my recent readings in Genesis that God, in the Old
Testament, often appeared to His people. Here in chapter 18 it says, "The
Lord appeared to Abraham..." He doesn't seem to do that anymore. As best I
know He has never appeared to me. Or to my friends. Or even to the modern
leaders of the church. But in the Old Testament it was a frequent occurrence.
Maybe it is because the New Testament church has the Holy Spirit and
so God doesn't feel He needs to make a physical appearance. Or maybe it is
because if He did appear to us today, we wouldn't treat Him like Abraham did in
this chapter:
"Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground" (Genesis 18:2).
When Abraham saw God and his angels appear, he worshipped Him. His worship was quick (he hurried) and humble (he bowed low to the ground). Maybe if God appeared before us, we would have to finish our cell phone call first. And then after we hung up, we would recognize it was God and get around to worshipping Him.
After Abraham worshipped God, he also served Him (Genesis 18:3-5):
"He said, 'If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way -- now that you have come to your servant'.”
'Very well,' they answered, 'do as you say.'" (Genesis 18:5b).
Maybe if God appeared to me, I would get around to serving Him after Wheel of Fortune was over.
Not only did Abraham serve God, but he got his whole household involved and invested, too:
"So Abraham hurried {there is that quickness again} into the tent to Sarah. 'Quick,' he said, 'get three seahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.' Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree."
Abraham enlisted Sarah and his servant in the worship of his God. He was so willing and eager he hurried, and his attitude was contagious. Sarah picked the finest flour. Abraham ran to the herd. His servant quickly prepared it. They gave it their best effort. This was a gold medal winning service performance.
I am frustrated by my indecision and wonder why God doesn't appear to me as He did to Abraham. Maybe when my worship and my service of God Almighty look more like Abraham's then I'll take the medal stand and be blessed with a personal pep talk from the Coach.
"Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground" (Genesis 18:2).
When Abraham saw God and his angels appear, he worshipped Him. His worship was quick (he hurried) and humble (he bowed low to the ground). Maybe if God appeared before us, we would have to finish our cell phone call first. And then after we hung up, we would recognize it was God and get around to worshipping Him.
After Abraham worshipped God, he also served Him (Genesis 18:3-5):
"He said, 'If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way -- now that you have come to your servant'.”
'Very well,' they answered, 'do as you say.'" (Genesis 18:5b).
Maybe if God appeared to me, I would get around to serving Him after Wheel of Fortune was over.
Not only did Abraham serve God, but he got his whole household involved and invested, too:
"So Abraham hurried {there is that quickness again} into the tent to Sarah. 'Quick,' he said, 'get three seahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.' Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree."
Abraham enlisted Sarah and his servant in the worship of his God. He was so willing and eager he hurried, and his attitude was contagious. Sarah picked the finest flour. Abraham ran to the herd. His servant quickly prepared it. They gave it their best effort. This was a gold medal winning service performance.
I am frustrated by my indecision and wonder why God doesn't appear to me as He did to Abraham. Maybe when my worship and my service of God Almighty look more like Abraham's then I'll take the medal stand and be blessed with a personal pep talk from the Coach.
APPLICATION:
There are some big
questions that arise from just these eight verses in the Old Testament. Why
does God appear in person to Abraham? Why doesn’t God appear to you or me? Why
isn’t our worship as eager and earnest as Abraham’s worship? Ask yourself, if
God wanted to appear to me in person, what might impede his arrival? Am I too
busy to notice Him? Am I too lazy to worship Him? Am I too isolated to involve
my friends in the preparation? Ask God to appear to you however, whenever and
wherever He wants. And ask Him to help you be ready when He does.
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